Ornate Cast
A rewrite, can I have your opinions?
I have rewritten my palindrome...
People; wear masks,
Starring casts,
Disguising sneers
Ornate beads, embellished,
Parading, clowns of fashion
Gold and silver gilt embossed,
Coveting materials
Airy feathers adorned,
Lifting proud heads,
Mocking fools
~Mirrored~
Fools, mocking
Heads proud, lifted
Adorned feathers, airy
Materials coveting
Embossed gilt, silver and gold
Fashion of clowns, parading
Embellished beads, ornate
Sneers disguising
Casts starring,
Mask wears people
Opinions?
lovechild: I'm female... My avatar is from my favorite japanese animation... What is a 'male vampyre'?
yes this is much smoother than the original. i myself have a problem with rewrites; they lose something every time. i also have a problem with titles.
keep working and by the way, i am looking for someone to collaberatr as the male vampyre to his newly apprenticed, interested?
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